• Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin
  • I Still Don't Remember

    Once there was this girl,

    I don't remember her name.

    But it doesn't really matter

    Coz, the story stays the same.

  • Praan Khola....

    Dekli toh kemon amder dekha...

    etaai to chilo hathe lekha...

    vule jacchis shei chottobela??????

    shei choudhury bajaar eaar shei mela....

  • I Worship Thee

    The first time I opened my eyes,

    You were there to care for me,

    I haven't said this much often,

    but mom, dad, I worship thee.

  • The Girl In The Orange Dress...

    Sitting there lost in her thoughts,

    With strands of hair kissing her face,

    There's so much more than meets the eye,

    About the girl in the orange dress.

  • Invictus

    Out of the night that covers me,

    Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

    I thank whatever gods may be

    For my unconquerable soul.

Posted by Avra Sengupta - - 0 comments

I grew up in a joint family, during my initial years. We had three tvs, one was a big color tv, that was in the living room of our house, an uncle of mine had another one, a tad bit smaller color tv, but with a remote, and my parents had a smaller black and white tv in our room, one that came with knobs. All three tv sets had one thing in common, they had only two channels that aired. That seemed to be enough back then.

Occasionally we would rent a vcr, and watch one of the recently released movies. Every Sunday morning we would all sit infront of the big color tv in the living room, and watch a few of those shows, that every Indian family used to watch on Sunday mornings. Mind you, the younger ones like us never had a say in what was to be seen, nor that it really registered to us.

In those days, when we used to have our summer holidays, it was always the same place we went to, my mom's hometown. Year after year, the same trip, two nights worth of train journey, followed by atleast ten days of the most amazing time with cousins from my mother's side, who like me used to come down there every summer for their vacations. There too the story was same, a couple of black and white tv sets, with knobs, and the same two channels. But the place had an upside, it had a cinema right next to it. And me and an elder cousin sister of mine used to have free access to last row seats now n then, courtesy of the usher to whom we were like nieces and nephews.

One such summer, we left my home town, and kicked off the vacation on a familiar note - two nights of train journey, followed by a 3 hour long car drive, to my mom's native. There used to be these vast mango troves outside my mom's native, through which the car took us and finally dropped us in front of the house. This time too I was greeted with the same black and white tv with knobs, but there was something different about it. It didn't just air those two channels anymore. My uncle had installed something called 'a cable connection'. It was like this treasure box of channels, all i had to do was turn the knob and the picture on the screen fluttered to something else entirely. No more static hissing, no more day long boring programs, no more of those two channels. There were channels that played music all day long, channels that  kept playing movies one after the other, channels with just cartoons in them!!!

That summer, we hardly ever went to the cinema next door. The mango troves outside the house remained unexplored. The early morning ritual of visiting the market with my uncle became a rare occurrence. We were glued to the tv for as long as I can remember. Amidst all these new shows, I Dream of Jeannie, was my favourite. It simply cracked me up. I remember it used to come at 9 in the morning and was repeated at 7:30 in the evening and I made sure to catch it both times. My cousins meanwhile, used to go gaga over these early versions of reality shows that were just on the cusp of their infancy. It was a summer love affair for us, with these channels, with this new way of tv, and of course for me, with Jeannie. The whole vacation passed in the blink of an eye, and before we could register, it was already the day before, I was supposed to leave.

Memory is a strange thing, isn't it. There are certain times in our life that stay imprinted in our conciousness, even though they might not seem so significant. I remember the last day of the vacation so vividly, that I can still close my eyes and be there again. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the tv, and I Dream of Jeannie was on. I was engrossed in it, but I wasn't quite enjoying it that day. The blues of leaving that night had already started haunting me. My dad was on the landline next to the table, talking to his brother, sharing the train details of our departure. He then asked me to take the phone, it was one of my elder cousins who wanted to talk to me. I dragged myself to the phone and placed the receiver next to my ear.

My elder cousin sister was on the other end of the line and she was exhilarated.
"Guess what happened while you were gone", she squeaked. "What did happen", my slow monotonous voice droned. "You won't believe it. We have gotten something called skyview two days back, it's a cable connection. They are giving out 99 channels, Sony, Zee, Cartoon Network and so much more. We can also call them and request them to play a movie and they will. We don't even have to rent a vcr for that now. And there's this show that we all watch every Sunday morning now. It's on Sony. You will love it. It's called 'I Dream of Jeanie.'". I was listening to her voice, with this ear to ear grin pasted on my face, while i overlooked the tv, just when Jeannie in her signature style folded her hands, and winked.
[ Read More ]

Posted by Avra Sengupta - - 0 comments

You know those rare times, when you are aware that you have to get up and move, and you only have a few moments to be in the state you are in. And you are in this awareness zone in those few fleeting moments, fully conscious of the fact that time is passing away. Well, I am right now in one of those moments. 

I am lying here, in conflict with myself, listening to the lull hymns of nothingness around me, wondering about what is real.

Did I really see what I think I saw? Could it be possible! Or was it a dream? And how long have I been lying here. I am pretty sure it was a nightmare, just had a bad dream. I am chickening out, nothing else. I should clear my head. I should focus.

"Are you sure it's not real!!!"

I don't know what is more unsettling. The crackling coldness of the silence around me being shattered by this high pitched voice or the fact that this voice seems to be coming from inside me.

I need to stay calm. It's all in my head. Here I am in my own house, in my own bed. There's nothing out there. I have this portrait of God hanging above my head. I look at it intently and try to gather some courage. I keep looking at it, and slowly it dawns upon me, that my God is within me too and as long as He resonates from my being, I am safe. 

"Do you really think so? If you have so much faith in Him, why don't you come out for a little stroll and we shall see if you are really safe"

This time I am sure the voice was coming from inside my head. The same high pitched crackle, leaving me shivering with cold sweat. Against my best judgement, I finally got up from the bed and started walking towards the verandah. There's a glass window next to the door of the verandah through which I peeked. Pitch black darkness, not a sound, absolute void. I slowly opened the door and before i could step out, a blast of cold air hit me.

With every strand of hair in my body standing, I started praying in my head and stepped out. The verandah was huge, so there was quite a bit of ground to cover. With slow unsure steps, I moved till the edge and turned around. I could see everything from here, my eyes accustomed to the darkness by now. 

The entire verandah was empty, there was no breeze, as if someone had sucked all the air out of the place and yet i could feel the chill in the air, piercing through me. The door stood open as I had left it, with the vast silent verandah spread in-between. Never before had the night seemed so still. I shook my head and started walking back in. After a few steps i stopped, somewhere halfway between the edge and the door. I had this phantom feeling that something moved behind me. I slowly turned at that spot towards the edge and even before I could register what I saw, I found myself in my bed.

Did I really see what I think I saw? Could it be possible! Or was it a dream? And how long have I been lying here. I am pretty sure it was a nightmare, just had a bad dream. I am chickening out, nothing else. I should clear my head. I should focus.

"Are you sure it's not real!!!"

- Avra Sengupta
[ Read More ]

Posted by Avra Sengupta - - 5 comments

Umar bhar ki hai ye jo kahaani tumhari,
Ek aadh panno mein iske, kahin main bhi hoon...
Saath tumhare chahe hoon na khada main,
Parchaiyon mein tumhari, kahin main bhi hoon...

Fursat jo mil paati kisi lamhe ko wo kehta,
Kharcha hai yun, use aaj bhi tujh hi pe..
Laut aane ka vaada, jo waqt kabhi nibhata,
Yaadein banata phir, saath mein tujh hi ke...

Beete hue palon ki bheed mein jo khoya,
Un gumshuda hazaron mein, kahin main bhi hoon...
Muskano se tumhare, bhale lapata hoon
Tanhaiyon mein tumhari, kahin main bhi hoon...

Zamana beet chuka, zamane ki parwah kiye hue,
Phir bhi fiqr mein tumhari, main aaj bhi kyun hoon...
Na manzil hoon tumhara, na hi hoon humsafar,
Phir bhi raah tumhari dekhta, main aaj bhi kyun hoon...


- Avra Sengupta

[ Read More ]

Posted by Avra Sengupta - - 2 comments

Can we meet somewhere?
Somewhere outside..
Outside me and you.

Somewhere within all the years we lost,
Or may be within a moment we had.
Where reasons won't be needed,
And reality would be obscure..

Some place without definition,
With blurred boundaries..
Where you wouldn't have ended,
And I would have already begun.

Regrets wouldn't be there as well
Somewhere outside time too
Where I wouldn't be searching for me,
But somehow I would be finding you.

Some place we can always go back..
Some place, where someday,
I wouldn't have to ask..

"Can we meet somewhere?
Somewhere outside..
Outside me and you"


- Avra Sengupta

[ Read More ]

Posted by Avra Sengupta - - 0 comments

If you close your eyes and reflect upon the moments that have defined your journey up till this very second. What is it that you remember? Think hard. What stands out? Do you remember the first time you fell from a cycle, or do you remember the first time you were able to ride it on your own. Do you remember the numerous failed interviews, or do you remember the moment you recieved your first paycheck. Is it the moment you lost someone, that stands out, or is it the times that you shared with that person? Does the missed promotion feature in there, or is it the first time you bought something for your mom or dad. Funny, isn't it, how our minds work. The things that bother us and the things we remember. 

About four years back in 2010, I left my home to start on my first job. These four years haven't been a smooth ride, and like everyone else I've had my ups and downs. There have been times when I have felt that I can conquer the world, and there also have been times when I have been without hope. I have been clueless and I have also been determined. At times I have been miserable, while at some been at peace. In these four years I have also changed my residence, quite a few times. But almost every place I have lived in, there has always been one thing in common. A yellow lamp post, out on the street visible from the balcony.

Over these years whenever I have been brought down by something or the other, I have almost always found myself deep in thoughts, standing at the balcony, staring at the yellow lamp post across the street. The streets have changed over the years, and so have the lamp posts, but the routine still remains the same. I am not sure if that helps me somehow, but I end up doing it nonetheless. Today when I try to recollect the numerous times that I have done this, the only things I do remember are the lamp posts. Neither the reasons that kept me awake, nor the apprehensions of those moments, but just the yellow lamp posts.

I wonder, if the reasons really were that important, and if they were, then why don't I remember them at all. Has the gravity of those reasons diminished with time, and if so then why did they seem so significant back then. I don't think I have all the answers with me, and I also don't think that this realization will make me immune, to whatever it is that the years to come will throw at me. There will always be something that is going to bring me back to that balcony, in the dead of the night, but one thing that I know for sure is no matter how bad things are, no matter how hopeless they seem, this time around when I stand there and stare at the yellow lamp post across the street, I will know that things are gonna be fine.

- Avra Sengupta
[ Read More ]

Posted by Avra Sengupta - - 4 comments


Khule aasmanon ki khwahishein samete...
Pankhon ko failaye, ud chala hoon main..
Kuch dhundli si manzilen hain haasil karni
Dhoondhta unhe, kho chala hoon main..

Tedhe medhe se pathreele hain raaste,
Nange pair inpe chal pada hoon main
Ankahe lafzon ke sannaton mein goonjti,
Awaaz apni hi, sun ne chala hoon main.

Toota bhi hoon, main haara bhi hoon
Khud ko sambhalta chala hoon main,
Guzarte hue lamhon se aankhein churate,
Apni pehchaan sambhale chala hoon main.

Chalte hue kaafi door nikal aaya hoon,
Palat ke ye dekhna chahta hoon main...
Kya koi aur bhi hai, mere saath chal diya
Ya yun akela hi chalta, ja raha hoon main.

- Avra Sengupta
[ Read More ]

Posted by Avra Sengupta - - 2 comments


A cup of coffee, a few pages to read,
A long walk with some thoughts to feed...
The rainy school days, the openfair nights,
The windy afternoons filled with kites...

An evening with friends, some old stories told,
Some old parchments, in some forgotten folds...
That familiar road, now a stranger to you,
Still finding in there, old faces few...

Some questions unasked, and their answers untold,
Some smiles bartered, some remain unsold...
A pensieve of memories buried deep within me,
Some make me cry, others fill me with glee...

In the cacophony of time, a few melodies drowned,
Some lost forever, some waiting to be found...
Within the confines of my clenched fists I see,
I am holding on to nothing... nothing but a memory.

- Avra Sengupta
[ Read More ]